Cerpen : Mimpi dan Persahabatan

“Arya!”

                Arya yang sedang berjalan menuju sekolahnya di desa melihat ke belakang, ke arah asal suara itu. Di sana ada Arga, pemuda pribumi dengan penampilan khas seorang juara kelas; berpakaian rapi, rambut yang dibelah samping dengan rapi, dan memakai kacamata. Arga adalah teman sekaligus sahabat Arya sejak dari bangku SMP.

                “Halo, Ga,” Arya balas menyapa Arga, dan menunggu Arga menyusulnya dalam perjalanannya ke sekolah untuk menghadiri pengumuman kelulusan SMA. “Siap menerima pengumuman kelulusan?”

                “Alhamdulillah sudah, Rya,” jawab Arga. “Kamu?”

                “Siap, Ga, tapi ga semangat aja kalau mikirin uda bakal lulus SMA.”

                “Jadi sudah yakin bakal lulus nih ceritanya?” goda Arga yang tersenyum jahil.

                “Yee... Jadi mentang-mentang aku bukan pemegang ranking di kelas, aku ga boleh optimis kalau aku lulus nih?” Arya tergelak, sambil tangannya meninju bahu Arga.

                “Ya nggalah, Rya. Sensi amat sih jadi orang. Hahaha...” sahut Arga sambil memukul pelan kepala Arya. “Arga salut aja sama kamu, Rya, bawaannya tenang aja. Bawaannya optimis aja. Kaya’nya ga ada yang bisa goyangin kamu walaupun ditolak sama orang sekampung.”

                “Masa sih, Ga?” Arya tersenyum setengah tidak percaya. “Padahal aku ngerasa justru sebaliknya loh, Ga; buktinya dikit-dikit aku ngeluh ke kamu, Ga. Soal orang-orang vihara lah, soal guru-guru yang aneh lah, dan masih banyak lagi. Sampai kamu kek tong sampah ocehanku aja. Masa ga nyadar, Ga?”

                “Iya, kamu ngeluh, dan selalu ngeluh. Tapi ya itu, kamu cuma ngeluh kalau kaya’nya semua orang menentang kamu. Tapi ‘kan tetap aja kamu ngelakuin apa yang kamu mau, ga berpaku sama apa yang dibilang orang-orang.” Arga tersenyum meyakinkan. “Dan itu juga yang membuat Arga akhirnya memutuskan ambil jurusan Akuntansi, Rya; karena kamu.”

                “Hah? Aku ga salah denger ‘kan, Ga? Kamu serius, Ga?” Arya melihat Arga tak percaya, karena selama ini Arga selalu terlihat memfokuskan diri ke mata pelajaran Kimia. Dan itu terbukti di di tahun kedua mereka di SMA, Arga yang mengikuti olimpiade bidang Kimia berhasil tembus ke tingkat nasional. Dan terakhir, Arga sampai pergi ke kota Padang untuk mengikuti tes beasiswa yang diadakan Caltech untuk jurusan Kimia.

                “Iya, Rya,” jawab Arga, tersenyum meyakinkan kepada sahabatnya itu. “Pas liburan kemarin Arga kepikiran sama tiga tahun kita di SMA, dan tiba-tiba ingat aja enaknya belajar Ekonomi sama Pak Farhan waktu kita kelas satu. Kaya’nya Akuntansi lebih Arga deh daripada Kimia, Rya.”

                Arga melihat ke atas, ke langit biru yang seperti menjanjikan kebebasan untuknya. Sampai terdengar bunyi klakson sepeda motor, dan teriakan Arya saat sahabatnya itu menarik lengannya ke arah pinggir jalan lagi.

                “Dasar pahlawan berani mati,” Arya menggoda sahabatnya yang hanya bisa tersipu.

                Itu memang sudah menjadi kebiasaan Arga, yang awalnya berjalan di pinggir jalan, bisa sampai ke tengah jalan kalau Arya tidak membiarkan Arga berjalan di pinggir.

                “Kamu gimana, Rya? Jadi ambil SI?” Tanya Arga, mencoba mengalihkan pikiran Arya dari ‘pahlawan berani mati’, julukan Arya untuknya karena kebiasaannya itu.

                Arya tersenyum kecut sebelum menjawab.

                “Iya, Ga. Papa ga bolehin aku jadi guru. Dan karena apa yang papa bilang soal perbandingan kedua jurusan itu ada benarnya juga.”

                “Soal diskriminasi ras di negara kita ya, Rya?” tanya Arga, karena memang temannya yang satu ini bukan pribumi, melainkan orang cina, yang  --menurut Arga sendiri-- cukup aneh karena masih didiskriminasi, sementara mereka sudah hidup sekian ratus tahun di negara ini; dan juga karena banyaknya bagian dari mereka yang telah ikut berjuang dan mati demi tanah air di masa penjajahan dulu.

                “Itu, sama perbandingan perbandingan peluang kerjanya kalau dibandingin sama fakultas komputer, Ga.”

                “Trus, kamu yakin, Rya?”

                “Ya yakin ga yakin, Ga. Soalnya aku masih ngeri aja kalau langsung disuruh kerja begitu tamat SMA.” Arya tersenyum kecut lagi, ngeri membayangkan harus langsung memasuki dunia kerja yang tidak dikenalnya sama sekali.

                “Hmm... kalau kamu sudah ambil keputusan, ya aku ngga bisa bilang apa-apa lagi, Rya. Cuma nanti kamu jangan nyesal belakangan aja,” Arga tersenyum menyemangati Arya yang memang masih belum tahu harus bagaimana menghadapi jalan yang menurutnya sudah buntu.

                Arga tahu kalau sahabatnya ini dari dulu tidak pernah peduli pada segala sesuatu yang rumit, termasuk matematika dan fisika. Arga juga tahu bagaimana salah satu guru mereka yang telah mengajar Arya dari bangku SMP telah sangat menginspirasi Arya untuk menjadi seorang guru.

Juga bagaimana terobsesinya Arya pada sastra; yang sempat membuat Arga merasa aneh karena Arya justru lebih menyukai sastra indonesia dariapada sastra inggris, mengingat betapa lancarnya Arya dalam mata pelajaran yang satu itu; satu hal yang selalu membuat Arga iri, karena dirinya tidak begitu pintar dalam mata pelajaran bahasa inggris.

Dan tiba-tiba Arga teringat pada sesuatu.

“Eh, tapi menulis tetap lanjut ‘kan, Rya?” tanya Arga, tahu kalau sahabatnya ini memiliki bakat yang luar biasa dalam menulis.

Arya melongo menatap Arga, kaget karena sahabatnya itu terlihat begitu mengharapkan Arya tetap menulis. Atau lebih tepatnya, tetap mencoba menulis; karena itu adalah sesuatu yang baru diketahui Arya dimilikinya di kelas dua SMA, saat kata-kata mengalir begitu saja dari pikirannya saat tugas menulis puisi pada mata pelajaran kesenian.

“Eh, itu...ga bisa janji sih, Ga,” jawab Arya, setelah sadar dari kagetnya. “Soalnya, Arga tahu juga ‘kan kalau menulis itu ga bisa dilakuin gitu aja. Harus ada inspirasi sama moodnya. “Tapi, Ga, I’ll keep on trying to write, karena rasanya senang aja pas nulisnya.”

Mereka berdua sampai di depan pintu gerbang sekolah mereka, mendadak berhenti di sana. Mereka menatap tempat mereka belajar selama tiga tahun terakhir ini. Tempat mereka bertemu begitu banyak teman; begitu banyak saudara seperjuangan. Tempat mereka bertemu begitu banyak guru yang sudah seperti orangtua mereka sendiri. Tempat mereka melewati tiga tahun yang penuh kegembiraan, penuh haru, dan penuh perjuangan.

Tempat aku bertemu dan dididik ayah keduaku lagi, batin Arya.

“Nanti tetap aku yang jadi proofreader kamu ya, Rya,” ucap Arga, yang pertama sadar dari lamunan mereka, sambil memandang Arya sambil tersenyum hangat dan menyodorkan tinjunya pada Arya.

Arya melihat wajah sahabatnya itu, membalas senyum hangatnya, dan meninju pelan tangan Arga sambil berkata yakin,

“Pasti.”

“Arya, Arga, ngapain kalian berdiri di sini?” terdengar suara hangat wali kelas mereka yang menyapa mereka di pintu masuk sekolah mereka, dan dua tangan hangat mendarat di bahu mereka masing-masing, memeluk pelan mereka dalam pelukan hangat seorang ayah.

“Sore, Pak,” sapa Arya dan Arga, sambil menatap wajah guru mereka yang unik ini;

Tubuhnya tidak begitu besar untuk membuat murid-muridnya takut, tapi saat dia marah, tidak akan ada yang berani melawannya. Arga bahkan pernah mendengar bahwa guru ini pernah menampar muridnya saking marahnya.

“Tapi salah orangnya sendiri sih, Ga. Udah disuruh jangan berisik sama Pak Zafa, tapi masih aja berisik. ‘Kan yang lain lagi ulangan, terang aja Pak Zafa marah abis,” jelas Arya saat itu.

Meskipun begitu, Arya tidak takut sedikitpun pada Pak Zafa. Yang ada hanyalah rasa hormat, dan rasa bangga memiliki guru seperti Pak Zafa yang telah membimbingnya selama enam tahun di sekolah menengah.

Dan Arga mau tak mau harus setuju pada pendapat Arya tentang guru yang satu ini, karena dia juga merasakan aura kental kehangatan yang selalu terpancar dari Pak Zafa; sesuatu yang membuat Arya sampai terkesan sangat memuja guru mereka yang satu ini.

Mereka berdua melihat ke wajah Pak Zafa, yang menggantikan mereka termenung di depan sekolah mereka. Mereka mengikuti arah pandangan Pak Zafa ke arah gedung sekolah, lalu saling melihat satu sama lain dan mengangguk sambil tersenyum penuh arti; Pak Zafa juga sedang melamunkan hal yang sama dengan mereka.

Pak Zafa juga akan pindah ke daerah lain setelah tahun ajaran ini berakhir, karena akhirnya Pak Zafa berhasil lulus tes PNS.

Pak Zafa yang sedang termenung, akhirnya sadar sedang diperhatikan oleh kedua muridnya, dan tersenyum hangat. Pak Zafa meremas lembut bahu Arya dan Arga sambil membawa mereka memasuki gerbang sekolah.

“Ayo, masuk.”

“Dirimu adalah pahlawan tanpa tanda jasaku. Selamanya.”

--Arya--

                “Kamu tidak akan tahan kalau kamu jadi guru. Kamu tidak akan tahan dideskriminasi. Kamu tidak akan tahan jika harus diutus ke daerah terpencil.”

                “Pilihan kamu itu tidak punya lapangan kerja yang besar. Kalau kamu ambil fakultas pendidikan, kamu hanya akan bisa menjadi guru saja. Lebih baik ambil fakultas komputer, karena di zaman sekarang ini hampir semua pekerjaan menggunakan komputer.”

                “Kalau kamu ambil jurusan sastra, mau jadi apa kamu? Kalau tidak tahu mau jadi apa, ngapain kamu ambil jurusan yang punya banyak keterbatasan seperti itu?”

                “Waktu itu kita semua akhirnya setuju kamu langsung kuliah karena hasil tes kamu A. Coba kalau B.”

                “Walaupun itu bukan keinginan kamu sendiri, tapi kamu sudah putusin buat ambil toh? Jadi ga bisa bilang itu bukan keinginan kamu sendiri lagi.”

                Suara-suara itu memenuhi benak Arya. Dia tidak tahan lagi.

                Arya memejamkan kedua matanya, lalu memperbaiki posisi headset di telinganya, dan mengeraskan volume musik dari handphonenya. Alunan musik-musik keras dari handphonenya mengisi kedua rongga telinganya. Lagu-lagu dari Simple Plan, Linkin Park, dan Avril silih berganti menemani perasaannya yang masih kacau dan tanpa arah.

                Dua tahun telah berlalu sejak kelulusannya dari SMA. Arya sempat mengikuti nasehat keluarga besarnya untuk kuliah jurusan Sistem Informasi di salah satu universitas ternama di ibukota, dan lulus tes masuk dengan nilai A; yang membuat seluruh keluarganya menaruh harapan yang besar padanya.

Tapi, apa yang ditakutkan Arya terjadi. Bagaimanapun semua anggota keluarganya memaksanya, dan bagaimanapun dia mencoba menyemangati diri, Arya tidak bisa memaksakan dirinya untuk mempelajari sesuatu yang tidak diminatinya.

Dan setelah tiga semester penuh dorongan dan kemalasan, akhirnya orangtua Arya memutuskan untuk memutuskan pendidikan Arya. Di semester keempatnya, Arya disuruh pulang ke Batam, tempat tinggal orangtuanya setelah Arya lulus SMA. Sayap yang semula telah patah, kini kembali patah.

Arya masih mengesalkan segala keputusan dan keluguannya di kelas tiga SMA kemarin; ketidaktahuannya tentang dirinya sendiri, segala ketidakyakinannya pada dirinya sendiri, dan segala ketakutan tidak beralasannya untuk bekerja sebelum kuliah.

Jauh di dalam lubuk hatinya, Arya sadar bahwa apa yang dikatakan seluruh keluarga besarnya memang benar, tapi itu semua tetap tidak ada artinya bagi seorang Arya; karena Arya adalah Arya. Arya bukan papanya. Arya bukan kakak pertamanya, juga bukan kakak keduanya. Atau kakak-kakaknya yang lain. Arya hanyalah Arya. Titik.

Sebenarnya, Arya ingin kuliah lagi. Arya ingin kuliah di bidang yang disukainya. Tapi, Arya tahu akan ditolak oleh keluarganya. Selain karena alasannya akan dianggap kurang meyakinkan, Arya sadar sudah berapa banyak uang yang telah terbuang percuma karena kesalahan fatalnya dua tahun yang lalu. Dan seberapa banyak lagi yang diperlukan jika dia ingin kuliah lagi.

Dan Arya yang sekarang juga masih seperti Arya dua tahun yang lalu; Arya masih merasa takut harus bekerja dengan orang. Dan Arya juga merasa tidak bisa bekerja dengan orang lain.

Arya terlalu pemalas. Terlalu pemarah. Terlalu egois. Dan segala terlalu yang berakronim buruk lainnya.

Mata Arya yang sudah tertutup memicing, dan Arya menggeleng keras di bantalnya, tangannya mengepal dan menghantam keras kasur yang sedang ditidurinya; Arya kesal pada dirinya yang seburuk ini. Arya benci Arya yang seperti itu. Tapi entah mengapa, Arya tidak bisa berubah. Arya hanya bisa menjadi Arya yang buruk rupa.

Dan Arya juga kesal pada Arga, yang entah mengapa hilang tanpa berita. Semua smsnya tidak dibalas. Telepon apalagi; Arga malah menolak dan segera mematikan handphonenya setiap kali Arya mencoba meneleponnya. Mungkin Arga malu punya teman tanpa masa depan seperti Arya.

Arya menutup diri. Menutup diri dari dirinya sendiri. Menutup diri dari teman-temannya. Menutup diri dari keluarganya. Dari dunia, dan juga dari masa depannya. Arya hanya menjadi seonggok mayat hidup yang hanya hidup untuk makan, main komputer, dan tidur. Arya yang dulu hidup sudah menghilang entah ke mana.

“Every man dies, not every man lives,” Mel Gibson, Braveheart.

--Arga--

                Arga menatap layar handphonenya. Pada begitu banyak pesan dari Arya. Pada segala keputusasaan Arya. Pada segala usaha Arya untuk menghubunginya. Untuk mencapai seorang Arga, sahabat yang dikira dimilikinya. Tapi, Arga tidak pernah menanggapi Arya.

                Arga terus menatap layar handphonenya. Sampai handphone itu bergetar dan mengeluarkan bunyi lagi.

                Arya. Lagi.

                Arga menekan tombol merah di handphonenya, menolak telepon dari Arya. Dan Arga menonaktifkan handphonenya. Untuk kesekian kalinya. Menjauhkan dirinya dari Arya.

                Arga terus menatap layar  handphonenya. Layar handphone yang sekarang gelap; menolak segala usaha Arya untuk menghubunginya. Arga terus menatapa layar handphonenya. Sampai ada air yang menetes ke layar handphonenya.

                Air mata Arga. Arga menangis. Arga menangis sambil menatap layar handphonenya. Pada satu-satunya benda di dunia ini yang bisa mendekatkannya pada sahabatnya. Pada bukti segala kekejaman yang telah dilakukannya pada sahabatnya.

                Arga menangis. Arga rindu pada sahabatnya. Arga ingin menghiburnya. Arga ingin mengatakan bahwa Arga masih tetap akan menjadi sahabatnya, meskipun setelah semua yang telah Arya lalui. Arga masih ingin menjadi sahabat Arya.

                Tapi Arga tidak bisa. Bukan karena Arya, tapi karena Arga sendiri. Bukan Arya yang tidak pantas menjadi sahabat Arga, tapi Arga yang tidak pantas menjadi sahabat Arya.

                Arga telah mencoreng nama baik sebuah pekerjaan yang selama ini begitu dikagumi Arya. Arga telah gagal sebagai guru, bahkan jauh sebelum Arga dinobatkan sebagai seorang guru. Arya telah menyalahkan junior bimbingannya, walaupun sebenarnya Arga yang salah; walaupun sebenarnya Arga yang tidak bisa mengajar, bukan juniornya yang bodoh. Arga telah menyebut murid pertamanya bodoh.

                Arga telah menjadi guru yang begitu buruk, sementara Arya sangat mengagumi dan sangat ingin menjadi seorang guru. Arga merasa telah mengkhianati Arya; mengkhianati kepercayaan sahabatnya. Arga merasa begitu menjijikkan.

                Arga tidak berani menghadapi Arya.

                Arga menangis.

“But if one day, you call and there is no answer...” If One Day, anonymous.

Tiga tahun kemudian...

                Luka itu masih ada.  Luka itu masih membekas di hati mereka. Dan setiap beberapa waktu, luka itu akan merekah kembali, menebarkan rasa sakit di hati mereka. Mengingatkan mereka bahwa luka itu ada di sana.

               

--Facebook, Somewhere on the Browser--

Arya       : Ga, kaya’nya mending aku pulang ke batam deh, daripada aku di sini juga ga ngebantu ko Fandi dan keluarganya sama sekali kesannya. Aku terlalu aku untuk ngikutin apa kata mereka. Hahaha.

                Dan karena aku juga nyadar setelah acara organisasi kampus yang terakhir kemarin, ternyata kesan ‘kelalu dan makin kelabu’ tiap kali aku datang ke kampus itu karena aku yang semakin merasa tidak pantas ada di kampus lantaran aku ga selesaiin studi aku di sini. berasa kaya’ outsider banget dah.

Dan kaya’nya, keadaan ga bakal bisa sama kaya’ dulu2 selagi aku masih lost begini. Yang ada kaku2an pas ketemuan, ga tau mau ngomongin apa. Hahaha.

Arga       : Hahaha.

Ya baguslah kalau kamu akhirnya nyadar. Btw, perasaan outsider itu sebenarnya cuma perasaan kamu aja, tahu. Tapi ya kamunya emang begitu, ‘kan; over sensi aja bawaannya kalau uda ngerasa pake topeng gitu.

Arya       : yep. Gotta be my real self first, sebelum aku bisa ngadapin teman2ku yang di sini lagi. I won’t feel fit anywhere as long as I wear my mask. And you know that, more than anyone else. Hahaha.

Arga       : karena kalau ada apa-apa, pasti kamu muntahin ke aku. Hahaha.

Arya       : eh, kemarin siapa ya yang minta jadi proofreader aku?

Arga       : iye, proofreader, tapi proofreader karya kamu atuh. Masa’ jadi proofreader ocehan kamu lagi? Kaya’ kita masih SMA aja dah. -_____-

Arya       : hahaha. That, my professor, is only because you are my old good best friend. :p

Arga       : dan aku mulai mempertanyakan arti sebenarnya dari kata-kata itu. Hahaha.

Arya       : cari aja di kamus, pasti artinya bagus-bagus dah. :p

                Eh, btw, Arga sendiri gimana? Masih kerja di kampus?

Arga       : sementara ini masih. Tapi alhamdullilah, uda dapat kerjaan di luar, yg bukan ngajar punya.

Arya       : jadi, apa gunanya kamu masuk fakultas pendidikan kalau tidak mau ngajar? XD

Arga       : tuh kan, mulai lagi dianya. X(

                Ini untuk sekarang ini aja koq. Insya Allah ntar2 kalau Arga uda ngerasa siap, Arga bakal ngajar.

                Tapi kalau ditilik dari kemampuan dan EQ Arga yang sekarang, kaya’nya belum deh. Semoga ga butuh waktu lama sampai Arga ngerasa siap untuk ngajar.

Arya       : Amin...

                Eh, prof, ini baru selesai hari ini. Baca ya. Tapi itu masih versi mentahnya sih. Jadi harusnya masih banyak kesalahan di sana-sini.

                /W/ Mimpi dan Persahabatan                          open^•download

Arga       : lagi? Kaya’nya kamu semgangat nulis banget belakangan ini.

Arya       : hahaha. Iya.

                Karena aku udah nyadar kalau ini cara aku nulis diary, sekaligus buat cerminan diri. Jadi ya mending nulis aja semua yang aku rasain. Semua kata yang muncul di otak aku. Hehehe.

Arga       : bagus deh kalau gitu. Keep on writing ya, Rya.

                Kutunggu terus karya-karyamu yang lain.

Arya       : pasti, ga.

It’s my way to cope with the world,

                To tell the world that there is someone called Arya,

                That Arya is alive, and will keep on living.

                Even if the world oppose me.

                I will keep on fighting.

                I will keep on living.

                For Arya is alive.

Arga       : malah berfsyair ria dia. Hahaha.

Arya       : ups! Kebiasaan. Hahaha.

Arga       : dasar pujangga banyak acara! Hahaha.

Arya       : :p

Arga       : Rya, Arga tidur dulu ya. Capek banget hari ini.

Arya       : hah? Tumben. Ngapain aja emangnya hari ini, Ga?

Arga       : nemanin tetangga baru keliling kota. Abis cantik banget orangnya. Hehehe...

Arya       : huuu... dasar. Yaudah. Tidur gih. Nite.

Arga       : nite.

                Dan momen itu seakan kembali ke hadapan mereka; saat di mana Arga menyodorkan tinjunya pada Arya, dengan senyum penuh kehangatan di depan sekolah mereka, lima tahun lalu.

                Dan dalam benaknya, Arya meninju pelan lagi tinju sahabatnya itu.

                Sahabat, selamanya, batin mereka berdua.

               

“Friends; even though we may not always be with each other phisically,

our hearts will.”

~swt”~

Poem : Believe

Believe

Have you ever feel...

Like you are unloved,

Like nobody cares about you?

Like...everybody is taking their distance from you?

But, have you ever consider,

That actually, the one making the distance is you yourself;

Consider, that the one who build those walls,

The one that wants to be unwanted is you yourself?

Believe.

Believe in your friends.

Believe.

Believe, that they ARE your friends!

Believe, that they are just waiting for you,

Waiting for you to get up and face the world,

Waiting for you to believe in your ownself.

Waiting, for you to beat the enemy within you.

Believe.

Believe in them.

Like they believe in you.

Believe.

Believe in them.

Like they believe that you will rise eventually

Believe.

~swt”~

Cerpen : Drugs Drags

~ Drugs Drags ~

            On the early summer in Oxford, three pals were in the Oxford Senior High School for registration. While waiting for Jule, who had gone to buy forms for all three of them, Raven and Jack joking around about the girls around them.

            “Hey, Rave! 9 o’clock, 9 o’clock!” said Jack.

            “Kinda short, isn’t she?” replied Raven, after he took a glimpse over the girl that Jack mentioned.

            “Yeah,” Jack answered while he still looked at the 9 o’clock girl. “But you gotta admit that she is pretty,” he continued. “And she have a very good body, too,” he added with a wink to Rave.

            “Hmm…,” said Rave while he took a better look at the girl. “Yeah, guess you’re right, Buddy,” he admitted, and looked at the gate. “Hey, Jack, I think I found the perfect girl for you. The one that standing at the right gate,” he said seriously.

            “Yeah?” said Jack while he took a look at the right gate. “WHAT?!” he responded, almost screamed it. “Are you kidding?”

            “Absolutely.” Raven answered in a very small voice while he tried very hard not to rolling on the floor, laughing.

            “You said that that gozilla over there is the perfect girl for me?” Jack continued, didn’t intercepted by Raven’s answer. “What a luck! Man, I’m gonna be a dead man after we had a hug. Or may be even while we WERE hugging,” he continued, took a look at the very big, black girl for the last time with a really, really shocked face.

            Raven just laughed louder as an answer of it.

            Jack looked at him with Jack the Ripper’s expression on his face, and said, “Yeah, laugh as loud as you could, Buddy, and tonight JTR will give you a visit.”

            Rave answered while he wiped off the tear at the corner of his eyes as he had laughed so loud, “Sorry, Buddy, but I haven’t felt this fun since…” He stopped, took a deep breath and looked at one of his best buddies with a sad expression before he continued, “…you know, since that war began.”

            Jack nodded, felt the pain that one of two best friends of his felt, and laid his arm on Raven’s shoulder to share the pain as he said, “Yeah, I know how your feeling must be, Bro. I think it must be pretty much like me after my mom died and my dad started drinking. And, you know what? I think you, too, need…” He stopped, groped at his pocket, took out a candy, and place it in front of Raven’s face before he continued, “…this! C’mon, take it.”

            “Candy?” said Raven as he stared at it.

            “Yep! What else, you dummy? Chocolate don’t look like this, isn’t it?”

            “Yeah. I mean, what a teeny-tiny, little candy can do with it?”

            “Just shut up, take it, and eat it, then you’ll understand.”

            “Really?”

            “Oh, for god’s sake, Rave, have I ever lied to you before? Well, almost every time, I guess. But…, C’mon, I know that you know what I mean, Buddy.”

            “I guess so. Okay, I’ll give it a try.” And so, Raven took the candy and ate it.

            “So?” asked Jack after a while. “How does it feel? Great, isn’t it?”

            “Yeah, you are right, Buddy. It feels so good inside my mouth. And the powder inside it… It makes me feel ‘free’. It feels like I’m…floating…” answered Raven as he gazed at the sky. “Where did you get it? I’ll be glad to have a lot more of it. You don’t get it in Oxford, or even in the United Kingdom, are you? Coz I believe I have never seen it before.”

            “Yep, you are right, like you always do, Bro. I didn’t get it in United Kingdom; I got it from my cousin in the United States. He first gave it to me at my mother’s funeral three years ago, and has supplied it to me since then. So I have a lot of stocks in my home. Just come over and get it. Oh, yeah, and don’t talk about it to another person.”

            “Why?”

            “I myself don’t exactly know why too, actually, but that’s the rule, as my cousin said. You just talk about it to people in need, people like us, you know.”

            “Oookay, I guess. And how about Jule, can we talk about it to him?”

            “Blessed be!” said Jule, as he suddenly appeared behind them. “I heard you said my name just in time.” Didn’t care about his friends whom had frozen by his sudden appearance, he continued, “Oh, and by the way, talk about what to me?”

            “Err… It’s…” started Raven, but got cut by Jack, whom quickly said,

            “It’s about what could have holding you up so long, Buddy. May be…” He nodded at the gozilla girl, and continued as Jule took a look at the gozilla girl, “You don’t really wanna know what exactly were we talking about, do you?”

            “Well…” Jule stared at the gozilla girl before he gave an actual answer. “No, I don’t, I think. And here it is, your forms,” said Jule as he gave them their forms.

            “Thanks, Jule,” said Rave, as he gave Jack a pair of questioning eye.

            “Thanks, Buddy,” said Jack, moving his head lightly to left and right as an answer for Rave. “I don’t know what I would do without you to wait in the line for me, Bro.”

            “Oh, I know exactly what you will do; you will sick to death while you were waiting in the line, right?”

            “Definitely, Master Jule,” answered Jack, as he bow to Jule. “So, what will we do now? Just going home or what?”

            “How about going to my house?” suggested Rave.

            “You know, Rave, I’ve waited forever for you to say that. I can’t wait to try your Wii,” Jack answered. “How about you, Jule?”

            “I’m okay with it, but…”

            “But…?”

            “Nope. Forget it. Let’s go.”

“Try it, and you will start the end of your life.”

           

            “GODDAMNIT, LEON!” Lyon, Raven’s mom, shouted from the top of the stairs, as she walked down when the three buddies opened the front door. “I’m sick of those ‘sorry, Honey, I can’t say it yet’, ‘not the time yet’, and all the scraps like that. Couldn’t you just tell me who she is and what did you do in her house?” She got to the ground floor as she continued, “If it’s not for Rave…”

            “You’ll be out of this house already,” said Rave, finished his mom’s sentence with a very cold tone, caused her to freeze on the lowest stair as she looked at him in her shock. “Or is it you’ll have a divorce accusation already that you wanted to say, Mom?”

            “No, no, Rave…,” said Lyon, in a begging tone as her face started to get pale.

            “Err… Good afternoon, Mrs. Brave,” said Jule, as he gave Raven a nudge with his elbow to stop his sarcasm. “Looks like we came on the wrong time,” he said as he smiled lightly.

            “Hi, Kids,” said Leon as he got to the ground floor behind his wife. “Done with the forms already, I see. Sorry about the ruckus. Sometimes, problem happens in a marriage, you know,” he continued, as he smiled tiredly.

            “Hi, Mr. Brave. Hi, Mrs. Brave. Guess we better go home now,” said Jack. “You know, we don’t want to intercept…” he stopped, as he tried to find the words that would fit the most to finish it.

            “Family’s chat,” said Jule, finishing his friend’s sentence. “Bye, Mr. Brave. Bye, Mrs. Brave,” he said before he turn around. “Be strong,” he whispered to Raven as he walked out the door before Jack.

            “See you later, Mr. Brave, Mrs. Brave,” said Jack, and followed Jule.  “Call me.” Jack said it to Raven without voice while he looked at him as he walked through the door. As answer, Raven just nodded his head as he felt so tired all of a sudden.

            “Are you satisfied now?” said Raven tiredly after his buddies gone as he went up the stairs, leaving his parents frozen behind him.

“I don’t need drugs, I just need peace.”

            Three months later, Raven became so stressed by his parents, and so he became so addicted to the candies that Jack gave him three months before, even after Jack said that he had to pay for it at the third time. And so, after three months, he had lost all of his savings in the bank, his Wii, and his BB also.

When his mom asked him about where they had gone, Raven answered that the Wii got borrowed by Jack, and the BB had been stolen by some thieves that he and his buddies met when they went to a bazaar. As for the money, he just said that he had some secret projects in progress that need all those money.

            And he also started to have a habit of doing dinner only after his parents done eating as well as he never let his parents got inside his room anymore. Just like that night. When his mother told him that dinner was ready, she got no answer from Raven’s room.

            The next morning, he hadn’t gone down for breakfast yet when he had to gone to school that morning. As they were preparing for breakfast, Lyon talked to her husband apprehensively,

            “Leon, I got a bad feeling about Rave, he had skipped dinner with us for so many times now, but he never skipped the breakfast yet. And forget about skipping school, as he had already been so serious about it since his first day.”

            “Have you called him yet?”

            “Yes, I have. But he didn’t answer me, just like last night. I thought he was angry by then, but now…”

            “I guess you are right. Let’s check him up.”

And so, they went up to Raven’s room          .

            “Rave, don’t you have to go to school today?” said Leon, when they got in front of Raven’s room.

            No answer.

            “Rave, I know that you are angry at us, but please, open the door. At least answer us,” begged Lyon.

            Again, there was no answer from the inside.

            “Kiddo, if you open the door now, I’ll break this damn door!” said Leon apprehensively as he looked at his wife’s worried face.

            “Leon…” said Lyon as his face turned pale.

            “Back off,” said Leon, before he started to smash the door up.

            “Oh, my God! Rave! What happened?” said Lyon hysterically as she saw Raven lying on the bed with half dried foam in his mouth, flowed through his face, right to his pillow when the door broke up after Leon smashed it for the third time. “Leon!”

            “I’ll call the ambulance,” Leon said quickly as he reached the phone in the room.

“Achievement, YES! Drugs, NO!!!”

            “How is he, Doc?” said Leon and Lyon at the same time when the doctor whom took care of Rave came out of the emergency room that night.

            “I’m sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Brave. We’ve tried our best, but only god knows when he wanted to call him,” said the doctor. “Looks like he had used those drugs for awhile now, and last night, he just overused it. May be something had triggered it by that time,” he continued. “I’m sorry, but may I ask you what happened last night?”
            “We… We had a very hard argument last night, the worse in these few months,” said Lyon, leaning to her husband.

            “Yeah,” said Leon, nodded as he closed his eyes in his suffers and tightened his grip to calm Lyon in his arm down.

            “You see, Mr. and Mrs. Brave, most of my overdosed patients didn’t use those drugs to have fun; it’s because they are just trying to find a way out of their sufferings. And Raven did just that,” said the doctor, as he smiled understandingly.

            “I guess so,” said Leon, while his wife just nodded. “Can we see him now, Doc?”
            “Well, sure. I think I have kept you here long enough,” said the doctor as he moved to his left to give them access to the door. “And… Mr. Brave,” he continued as Leon opened the door, “Please make sure you don’t scold him. Remember, he is just a victim of the life’s drama, just like all of us.”

            Leon smiled before he answered, “Don’t worry, Doc, I won’t.”

            “Good to hear that,” the doctor smiled. “Well, if you’ll excuse me, now…” he said as he crouched and walked to his room as the couple went in to the room.

            “Hi, Honey, how are you doing?” said Lyon when she saw Raven was awake, looked so weak with those wires around him as she tried so hard to smile while she went to the left side of his bed.

            “Dumb,” Raven answered with a very weak and slow tone as he smiled.

            “C’mon, Kiddo, we all know that you are the smartest kid in the house,” Leon smiled as he went to the right side of the bed. “Say, Kid, what do you want to get out of this boring room, huh?”

            “All I want…” Rave said in the weaker and slower tones as the heart beat detector started to beep faster, held his father’s and mother’s hand that holding his hands as they tried to pull it back to call the doctor, and continued, “…is…the two of you…” He stopped, took some deep breaths as he pull his parent’s hands to his chest, before he continued. “…to become…” He hold their hands together, making his parents’ hands one, before he continued again. “…one…once…” He took a very deep breath, smiled, and finished his words. “…again…”

As the last word being said, the heart beat detector’s beeping changed into a single long beep.

“Service requires sacrifice.”

            Three days later, after the funeral, Jack and Jule stayed at Raven’s tomb with his parents. As the others went out of the cemetery, they move closer to them.

            “Hi there, boys. Guess now it’s just the two of you, eh?” said Leon as he saw them coming. “Must be hard for the two of you, eh?”

            “Yeah, but I think it’s harder for both of you,” Jule replied. “I mean, at least me and Jack still have each other as friends, or best friends in our case; but you…” he stopped.

            “…both of you just have Rave so far. So it must be a lot harder for you than to us,” Jack finished his friend sentence, like the three of them always did for the last five years.

            “In our case, we can ‘make’ another,” said Leon, as he winked his right eye before he got a surprised look from his wife, whom was in his arm, like she always did since the morning when they found their son unconscious. But before she could say something, Jack said nervously,

            “Mr. Brave, Mrs. Brave, I think I must make a confession to you.”

            “About what?” Leon asked.

            “About whom…” Jack started, but got cut by Jule, who said,

            “No, way, Man. You’re not going to say…”

            “…gave Rave the drugs,” Jack continued, paid no attention at all to what Jule said. “It’s me,” he said, as he looked at the three others in pain. “I have used it for over three years now. I didn’t mean it. I mean, I didn’t…”

            “WHAT?!!!” shouted Jule. “WHAT were you thinking, given that shit to Rave?” he continued, showered Jack’s face with his saliva as he talked, as they stood so close to each other. “Wait, WHAT were you thinking to start using that damn thing in the first place?”

            “Jule, Buddy,” said Jack, hold on Jule’s shoulder with his right hand as he clean his face with his left palm. “You really, really need to learn how to let others finished what they were gonna say before you say what’s in your head, Buddy,” he continued, moved his head to the left and right with a commiserated face. “I meant it!” added Jackk as he saw Jule just opened his mouth like an idiot.

            “What I were gonna say is ‘I didn’t even know that those candies were drugs.’ I mean, how old am I back then, eleven?” Jack said slowly, as his eyes started to felt hot. “And I was so sad and distressed back then as my mother passed away and my dad started to drink and acting weird. And those candies that Rob gave me… It made me feel so free; it made me feel the peace that I needed at that time,” he continued, looked at the others as his vision started to seem blurry. “You’d do the same as I did if it was you.

            “And when I saw that Raven with that burden…” Jack stopped again, looked at the others as a tear dropped from his eye. “All I wanted to do is help him out of that pain.” Then he started to sob.

            “Oh, Jack!” said Jule as he hugged Jack and sobbed louder than Jack did, causing Jack to cry on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Buddy. I’m so sorry. I guess I didn’t do what I must do as your friend back then,” he continued between his sobs. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

            “I’m… I’m sorry, Mr. Brave, Mrs. Brave,” said Jack between his sobs. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t…”

            “It’s okay, Jack. It’s not your fault, too,” said Lyon, as she hugged the boys and closed her eyes, causing a tear to drop on them.

            “That’s right,” added Leon, as he hugged them all and closed his eyes too. “You, too, are just a victim of the drama of life, Kid. Just promise me that you’ll live your life to the fullest without those damned things. For us, for Raven’s sake, and for your own goodness. I’m sure that Rave will understand, and that he will want you to continue your life without them.”

            “Yeah, I already planned to go to rehabilitation center here in Oxford, but, you see, I still don’t know how to tell it to my father,” said Jack despondently, detached his self from the others.

            “Don’t worry, Jack. I will help you talk it to him,” said Leon.

            “Really?” said Jack. And when Leon nodded, he shouted “Oh, thank you, Mr. Brave,” as he hugged Leon in his happiness.

            “It’s okay, Jack,” said Leon, surprised and amused with Jack’s reaction. “And thanks for letting us know about it.”

“You are welcome, Sir,” answered Jack.

“Now, both of you, go home. I’m sure that your parents are worried about you by now,” said Leon, as he dispatched from Jack.

            So the boys turned to Rave’s tombstone to say their last goodbye to him.

            “Bye, Rave. Rest in peace, Buddy,” said Jule.

            “Bye, Buddy. Wish me luck with the rehabilitation, Bro,” said Jack. And as he turned around, the wind blew in the cemetery. And as the wind blew, Jack heard Raven’s voice said,

“I will.”

So he turned his head back to Rave’s tombstone and said, “Thanks, Buddy,” and started to restrain from Rave’s tombstone to the cemetery’s gate.

            “And, Boys,” Leon called before they got too far. “We’ll glad to have you visit us every once in a while,” he continued after they turned around. “You wouldn’t mind to visit two oldsters of an ex-friend, would you?” He smiled, didn’t realize the asking eyes Lyon gave him from his shoulder.

            “Sure, Sir,” said Jule. “We’d love to.”

            “And talking about oldsters, are you kidding us, Sir?” Jack said with a cunning smile. “I think, well, I’m sure that it’s ‘we think’, actually, that both of you still can make a bunch of little Rave before you fit to be called ‘oldsters’.”

            “Yep, you are right, Buddy,” said Jule, with the same cunning smile on his face. ”It’s WE think, not just YOU think,” he continued, pressurized the words ‘we’ and ‘you.’

            “Yeah, I guess you kids are right about that,” said Leon, mimicking the same cunning smile. “But with both of you around, I’m not sure there will be enough little Rave to be called a bunch.” He laughed, and again, didn’t realize the asking eyes that Lyon gave him. The only difference is, this time, those eyes filled with sorrow. And pain.

            “Now who told us to come every once in a while?” said Jack, and turned back to the gate as he said, “Let’s go, Jule, before we started got blamed for the less of those little Rave. Bye, Mr. Brave. Bye, Mrs. Brave.”

            “Guess you are right, Buddy,” Jule agreed. “See you later, Mr. Brave, Mrs. Brave,” and he waved his hand before he turned around.

            “Bye, Kids,” said Lyon, as his husband laughed before he said,

            “See you soon.”

            As the boys walked away, Leon tightened his arm around Lyon and said,

            “So, they finally leave us alone, eh?”

            “Yeah,” said Lyon, as she took Leon’s hand off her, and looked at his eyes. “Why did you do that, Leon?” she said, as her vision started to seem blurry.

            “Did what?” said Leon in his confusion.

            “Those ‘we’, ‘us’, and finally, the ‘a bunch of little Rave’,” said Lyon, between her anger and sorrow. “Don’t you know that hurt me a lot more than you just walk out the house with that woman in front of me? Or did you do it intentionally? To hurt me?” she shouted it, as she started to sob.

            “Woman? What woman?” said Leon, still confuse. But as the words came through his mouth, his mind caught what his wife was talking about. “Oh, you mean Sarah?” he said, as he started to laugh loudly.

            “So that woman’s name is Sarah, huh? So, what? Do you hope me to put up the white flag just with telling me her name? I’m sorry, Mister, but that won’t work on me!” Lyon shouted it, and started to sob louder. “And what’s that laugh for?”

            “Lyon, Sweetie,” said Leon, caught Lyon’s hands while it moved as she talked, pulled her closer, and wiped her tear with his hand. “Calm down, Sweetie. You got it all wrong, Honey.”

            “Wrong? You mean my eyes had cheated me?” said Lyon, as she tried to pull her hands off from Leon’s. “Well, here is the news for you: then my ears have to be checked too. Because you just told me her name is Sarah, didn’t you?” she got angrier as her afford to put her hands off Leon’s hands failed.

            “That’s not my point, Sweetie. What I mean is that there is nothing between me and Sarah.” He tightened his grip on Lyon’s hands as she became wilder, before he continued. “Okay, we did have something before, I won’t lie to you. But it was very long time ago, when we were still in the high school. Long before I met you in the college.” He stopped and kissed Lyon’s hand, and continued,

“I did go to Sarah’s house before, as you saw me, but I’ve done nothing with her back then. I just met her because she said that she had a daughter of mine from our relation before. And that’s the reason why I went to her house too, to see my ‘daughter’. But you see, I knew already what kind of woman she is now, so I weren’t just belief her without proving it. So I’ve got our blood tested.”

“And…?” said Lyon, started to feel guilty.

“Well, it turned out that I was right, that girl is not my daughter. Sarah just needed money at that time, and I appeared to have been in a wrong place and a wrong time when he saw me a few months ago,” said Leon.

“Why didn’t you tell me when the result came out?”

“Because…” Leon stopped and rolled his eyes before he continued. “…that damn paper couldn’t have chosen the more perfect time to come to our mailbox.” He stopped, took a deep breath, and continued as he looked into Lyon’s questioning eyes. “It came in the day when we took Rave to hospital, and I just had a time to open it the night after it. Forget about trying to find the time to tell you about it with those bustle we had these days, I can hardly spare a second to think about it back then,” said Leon, as he detached Lyon’s hands and lifted his own hands and shoulders to make a ‘that’s what happened, what could I do?’ pose.

“Oh, Leon!” said Lyon, as he ran to Leon and hugged him. ”Leon, Honey, I’m so sorry,” said Leon, as she started to cry again on Leon’s chest.

“So, finally, I’m back to ‘honey’, and not just a mister, I guess,” said Leon, as he smiled cunningly and hugged back at his wife.

            “You bet, Mister,” said Lyon, as he punched lightly on Leon’s chest. “But why wouldn’t you tell me before it, then?” asked Lyon as she loosened her hug so she could see Leon’s face.

            “Well, I didn’t tell you back then because I didn’t want you to get annoyed by that female fox, too,” said Leon, as he pulled Lyon back to his arms and kissed the top of her head. “Believe me, she is a woman you wouldn’t want to have anything with.”

            “And you thought that I’d prefer to be crazy by thinking what were you doing with her rather than that? Sorry, Mister, but I’d rather face the fox than to be crazy for you.”

            “You do?” said Leon, as he pulled Lyon away and lifted Lyon’s chin, so that he could see her face.

            “Of course I do,” Lyon said as she smiled, “Because I love you with all my heart, Honey. From the beginning, when I first met you, and when I agreed to be your wife, now, and until death tear us apart. And even after that.”

            “Just as I do,” said Leon, felt flying just by his love to his wife, as he lifted her chin and kissed her softly on her lips.

            They kissed so deeply that they didn’t realize the light that came out from Raven’s tombstone.

            “See? It’s all just a misunderstanding after all,” said Raven, whom had come out from the light, caused his parents to restrain their self from each other in shock as he smiled. “All you have to do is talk to each other.”

            “Oh, Raven, Honey,” said Lyon, as her tears flowed through her cheek. “I’m so sorry, Honey.”

            “We’re sorry, Kid,” said Leon, smiled in pain. “If only…”

            “It’s okay, Dad, I’m okay now,” said Raven as he smiled cheerfully. “What has happened, had happened. Nothings we do or say now will change the past. All we can do now is to learn from our mistakes, so that it will never happen again in the future.”

            “Yeah, guess you’re right, Kiddo,” said Leon. “So… What will you do now?”

            “Well, I guess I have to face whatever it is that awaits me for the consequences of what I did,” answered Raven as he smiled lightly.

            “Well, I think it wouldn’t be so hard, Kid. Because much of the fault is in our hands,” said Leon.

            “Oh, Rave!” Lyon shouted after he looked at Raven’s feet as she cried.

            All of them looked Raven’s feet, which have started to fade away upward. And after awhile, Raven looked at his parents and said, “Well, I guess it’s time for me to go, then.” He smiled as he said, “Bye, Dad. Bye, Mom.”

            “Bye, Honey,” said Lyon, as she leaned toward her husband.

            “Bye, Son,” said Leon, as he tightened his arm around his wife.

            “And Mom, Dad,” said Raven, as his neck fade away. “Do live a happily ever after life, for me.”

He smiled, as the fading reached his chin.

            “We will, Kid.” Leon smiled, at the same time as Lyon smiled and said,

            “We will, Honey.”

            “Blessed be,” said Raven, as his face fading.

            “Blessed be,” his parents said together.

            “And he is gone,” said Leon after awhile as he softly caressed Lyon’s arm to calm her down as she had started to cry again after Raven gone, “Again.”

            “Yeah,” said Lyon, as she tightened her arms around Leon to prevent another wave of tears. After she had calmed down a little, she asked Leon, “What will we do from now on, Leon?”

            “Well,” Leon started as he placed his chin at the top of his wife’s head. “To tell the truth, I really think we should take a good, long sleep before anything else.”

            “Leon!” Lyon yelled as she pulled her head away from Leon’s chest.

            “What?” said Leon, looked at Lyon’s eyes before he kissed her forehead softly and placed his own forehead there as he closed his eyes. “I don’t know about you, Sweetie, but I myself can’t live another day without going to bed as soon as possible.” He lifted his head, and continued as he looked as his wife’s eyes, “But I guess you are feeling the same as me.”

            “Well, I am. But you know that’s not what I meant,” said Lyon, as she hit his husband’s chest softly before she put her head back there.

            “Well, I don’t know exactly how we are gonna do it, but I think we must ‘live a happily ever after life’ as we promised Rave,” said Leon, as he softly tightened his hug.

            Lyon pulled his head back and looked at Leon’s eyes and smiled as she asked, “With ‘a bunch of little Rave’?”

            “Well,” said Leon, kissed her wife’s softly on the lips and smiled naughtily as he continued, “We’ll see if we can make it a bunch.”

            Lyon placed her head back to Leon’s chest as her face flushed before she said as she smiled in her flush, “You big bad rascal.”

            “Well,” started Leon, after they stand there for awhile, enjoyed hugging and hugged by each other after a very long time not doing it. “I guess we’d better go home and take a nice, long sleep now before we fall asleep here and accompanied Rave for another night.”

            “Yeah, I guess we’d better,” agreed Lyon.

            And so, they walked out the cemetery; to start their ‘happily ever after’ life, as they, and all of us, should have done since the beginning. Without lies. Without anger. And with love.

“After the end, there is the beginning.”

~swt”~